Buffalowings.com

27 Nov

It was almost exactly five years ago, the Sunday before Thanksgiving in 2005.  I woke up that morning, and following my normal routine, I walked bleary-eyed into our study to check my email.  An email from about 4am that morning caught my eye immediately.  The sender was “Buffalowings.com” and the subject line read “Order Confirmation”.  Something told me that this wasn’t spam, and so I opened the email and found that someone had placed an order in the wee hours of the morning for 5 buckets of their spiciest wings (50 wings per bucket for a total of 250) to be delivered to our Chappaqua home before Thanksgiving.  The total for the order was $200 + tax + an expedited shipping charge (since it absolutely had to get here by Thanksgiving).

Staying as cool, calm and collected as I could under these shocking circumstances, I began the process of elimination.  Drew and Brett were 14 and 11 respectively and didn’t possess credit cards, so they were out of contention.  Carey ?  I didn’t waste 5 seconds on that possibility.  I didn’t order them.  And unless I had suddenly become a victim of credit card fraud, that left only one choice.  Given the hour the order was placed, I waited until noon to call Jeff and demand an explanation.

The explanation went something like this: “Yeah, Dad, I’m really sorry but we were out late drinking and when I got back to my room I was really hungry, and for some reason, I had a craving for buffalo wings.  So I googled buffalo wings, and this site came up, and it’s really cool because the wings come from The Anchor Bar in Buffalo, which claims they were the originators of the buffalo wing in 1964.  And they say they have the spiciest wings anywhere, and 250 isn’t too many, right?”

My reaction wasn’t very fatherly.   I mean, how does having 250 wings sent home satisfy his hunger at that moment ?  And how about the $200+ ?  I told him to forget it and that I was going to call and cancel the order.  He pleaded with me to keep it for Thanksgiving and that we’d bring it to Aunt Athene’s house for the whole family.  We compromised, and I canceled half the order.  The Anchor Bar person was understanding about the fact that my college son who had a little too much to drink got over his skis a bit.  They sent 125.

The story was the hit of our Thanksgiving, not only in 2005 but ever since.  The relatives howled, thinking it was the funniest thing they had ever heard.   That was until they all started eating the wings.  Most of them broke out in a sweat immediately, some turned beet red and others ran for the bathroom.  You see, Jeff could always tolerate a level of heat and spice in food that the average human simply could not.  Needless to say, we took all the leftovers home.

I checked the website buffalowings.com before writing this post, and sure enough it redirects you to The Anchor Bar, and those 50 wing buckets are still on the menu.  Ironically, there isn’t anything in the world I wouldn’t have given to have received an order confirmation from them before this Thanksgiving.

Rich Klein

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One Response to “Buffalowings.com”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. A Night Out « Kleinsaucer - December 22, 2010

    […] remarkable–far from it.  I know for a fact that Jeff got up to much more interesting and memorable shenanigans at other times.  These anecdotes, I’m sure, will be fondly rehashed whenever any […]

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