Kleinsaucer Reappears In A Dream

9 May

Today is an eerie day. Today marks exactly 6 months since the passing of one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known, Jeffrey “Kleinsaucer” Klein, a man I have called a best friend for years, one that I will never stop calling my best friend. While today can and will be a day of mourning for many people, it should also be a day of celebration for Jeff’s life, a sentiment our friend Elon and countless others have expressed on this very blog. We should remember Jeff for the (pardon my French) fucking amazing guy he was for 23 and a half years, and not for his troubling and unnecessary demise in his last few weeks of life and the final action he decided to take with a clouded and confused mind. The guy could light up a room with his laugh and his grin – whether you knew him for years or for minutes, you couldn’t help but be brought up by the guy.

Ever since his untimely death, I have desperately wanted to reconnect with him any way possible. I’ve spoken to him in my thoughts, I’ve muttered aloud towards the sky and stars, I’ve written to him on this blog, I’ve kept in touch with his family, I’ve kept him alive through conversations with close friends like Brooke, Julie, Elon, Anish, Blake, Ryan, Andres, Thao, Jack and countless others. But for the past six months, what I’ve truly yearned for was the chance to see him again in my dreams. I know he has appeared in dreams for his parents and some of his friends, but I haven’t had that pleasure yet. Not until last Wednesday night.

Last Wednesday I got into a very serious argument with one of my very closest friends. While going into the details of that isn’t necessary for this blog, what is important is that I was incredibly upset by the interaction. It was something that was bothering me deeply as I drifted off to sleep that night, something I just couldn’t block out.

Not surprisingly I had a nightmare. A nightmare that me and this friend would never make up again, a nightmare that the situation was increasingly getting worse. I woke up in a cold sweat, very bothered and uncomfortable. I was in pain.

I soon fell back asleep, and this is when Jeff came to me. I dreamt that I was lying in my bed as I was, and lo and behold, Jeffrey Klein walks in the door! I can’t express to you the feelings I was experiencing at the moment. Incredible HAPPINESS that I got to see my friend again, SHOCK that he could actually be here, SKEPTICISM that this couldn’t possibly be the real thing. But above all I didn’t care if this was real, he was here and I was going to enjoy this moment because something told me it would be fleeting.

Jeff appeared to me in great shape as usual, wearing a t-shirt and shorts, clean shaven, hair cut, and of course, SMILING. Smiling that Jeff Klein smile that you can’t help but mirror right back at him when you see it. I had a feeling deep down that this was a dream, so I knew I had to act fast before it was all over. I leapt up and just gave him the biggest bear hug you could imagine. A hug that I had been wanting to give him for 6 months, but was never able to. And to be honest, I FELT the hug. It was like he was really there.

All I could ask him before I woke up was, “are you okay, man?”

And he responded, “yeah, I’m okay.”

And then I woke up. It was over. The whole thing lasted for about 15 seconds but it felt like an eternity because I had been waiting so long for it. In a time when I was feeling very low, Jeff appeared to me to cheer me up, and reassure me that he was okay.

There are many things that Jeff could have meant by appearing to me. I told this to his dad, Rich, and he offered the idea that he was coming to me to tell me that he was doing well upstairs, that his spirit was living on and he was watching over me, all of us. I also believe he showed up to remind me that there are more important things than petty differences among friends. That what is genuinely important above all else is life.

I truly feel that Jeff was appearing to me when I needed him most, giving me perspective. He always had a way of doing that during his life, and I’m getting the feeling now that he will continue that in his afterlife.

I’ll tell you one thing, I am just so thankful for receiving that hug. And I will never forget it. Thanks for being there, buddy. It was worth the wait.

-AB

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